hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
