Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
