SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
