Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
