IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
