tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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