Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
