After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
