Non-Jews are for practice
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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