I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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