I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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