Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
