so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
