hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
