Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
