haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you had me at cake vodka
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize