hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You took a bar mat shot.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
