Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
