There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
