not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
