belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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