hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
not ubering you a puppy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
