i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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