Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
