Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
