so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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