just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
