dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
