look no pants
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
