After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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