i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
