did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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