Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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