best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
