do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
