I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize