Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
