you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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