My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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