yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
