I am puke
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
