i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
