remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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