Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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