I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
