The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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