I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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