You're so nebulous sometimes
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
