apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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