the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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