Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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