I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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