I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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