I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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