Joe is yelling at the trees again.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
