Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
