Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
