You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
