He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
