i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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