I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
