i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
as a side note pls kill me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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