i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
