so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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