I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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