pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
