Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
