bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
