are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
