I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
