Umm I'm too high to move.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
