the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You can't just leave with hair like that
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
