wanna go halves on a baby?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize