Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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