Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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