Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
